Remember way back when, when I posted every day and it was all about design? Do you miss those days? Truthfully, I can't decide if I do or not. The fact that I don't post daily anymore doesn't mean I don't love you or I've lost my passion for design. It simply means life has gotten in the way. Work, babies, family and friends happen 24/7 and frankly, most of my free time is spent exhausted or thinking about how exhausted I truly am. (Try to sort that one out, will ya?) Other things that have gotten in the way are things you never think will happen when you’re young. Things you never even KNEW could happen. Like being diagnosed with MS. I mean, what the hell is that anyway? I knew Montel Williams had it, but even then I confused it with various other acronyms of bad health. Four years into this thing and it still confuses me. I get foggy sometimes and lose my thoughts mid-sentence. Is that the curse of motherhood or the curse of MS? I’m so tired some days I could fall asleep standing up. Is that old age/stress/ridiculous schedule at work or hideous fatigue that punctuates MS? Who knows! Not this girl. And then suddenly it feels like you’ve opened Pandora’s box. Your dear friend discovers she has lymphoma, and then your cousin finds a lump. Test results, MRIs, chemo, mastectomy all become part of your everyday vernacular. And then something else happens. Overwhelming issues from your twenties seem laughable, long-time fears are categorized as small potatoes, and everyday pressures become foreign and ridiculous. Your wires are exposed, and the only thing you want to do as a result is pack a bag, set your belongings on fire and head out in search of life’s biggest answers. Or maybe just move into a yurt and live off the land. Who’s with me?? I digress. Truth be told, today’s post didn’t start out heading in this direction, but such is life and such is the evolution of “real” blogs, me thinks. If I’ve learned anything in the last year, it’s to try and let things happen as they may and accept the transformation with as much grace and humility as possible. I can only hope you’ll stick with me along the way.
On that note, here’s the next chapter…I’m thinking of titling it, “Great Design still lives here – but her f-bomb dropping best friend is crashing on the Chesterfield.”
(Photo of my beautiful older cousin and me, pre bad-health bullshit. Check us out rockin' the colored pants! Awwww-yea!)
(image via Emmas)